During many years, I’ve lived a toxic and damaging life.
Like so many others pushing, forcing, overworking and ignoring my body, heart and soul. Hurting both myself and people around me in my struggle to become successful. The more I attempted to become something the more disconnected I became.
Unwittingly fearing my inner voice, I filled my life with all kind of distractions from solitude and silence.
I suffered from depression, exhaustion and all kind of physicaldiseases. Blaming everyone including myself I felt lost and rootless. Overwhelmed by the feeling of hopelessness, I just wished to disappear.
Feeling tattered I searched for wholeness and healing in a million places all outside myself. Without finding nothing I was forced down into the deepest depths. There, in the middle of my confused pain, I eventually gave up my exhausting fight against my own being and I found peace.
Eventually I chose life because the dimness yearning me in to unconscious places in myself where the presence of the unknown aroused. Seeing this made me forget that there was a choice. Suddenly I began to realize that all the answers have been buried deep inside me, all along.
I have no choice but to aligned and make the courageous decision to let go of the idea of the one I thought I was. It was time to accept and find peace with myself. Merely existing was no longer enough.
My healing process allowed me to travel deep inside my own experience and out through my perception of the world. Somewhere there I began to see who I truly was beyond conditioned self-images and habitual patterns of thinking, moving and living.
I started to feel alive the more I released the unnecessary and the more I trusted the flow of change in the universe. When I finally stopped trying to control the result of my actions and looked for the seed instead, there was a huge shift in my life.
With this insight,
I now move forward on my journey exploring, learning and teaching. As I move deeper into the unknown I feel more and more connected to the source and returning to what I already know deep inside of myself.